Reflecting on Learning

I have been working with children since I was 16 years old. I have seen many children grow up in the past 16 years. My hope as an Early Childhood Educator is that each child gets the opportunity to feel accepted in their learning environment. Every child is different and deserves to be treated with respect, despite what their differences may be. I hope to be able to continue to provide a fair and anti-bias classroom for children, to learn, grow and play.

"If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children." - Mohandas Gandhi, political and spiritual leader in India

Thank you to all of my classmates and colleagues for helping me along this journey to further my knowledge of creating the best possible learning environment for children.

References

Releasing Children from Poverty in Jesus Name. Famous Quotes about Children Retrieved from: http://www.compassion.com/child-advocacy/find-your-voice/famous-quotes/

Impacts on Early Emotional Development

I chose to investigate Latin America and the Caribbean. The country in this region that I chose to focus on was Jamaica.

” In the Caribbean region, sexual violence against children is greatly underreported, and this abuse is often culturally sanctioned. A study in Jamaica indicated that men often believe they have a right to engage in sex with girls under their care, while children in Guyana reported believing that sexual violence can be blamed on a victim’s clothing. Sexual violence against boys is especially underreported, and in some countries, is not even recognized as a crime.” (Hahn 2012 retrieved from http://www.unicef.org/infobycountry/jamaica_62479.html) Though child sexual abuse is hidden in shame, it is reported that around 150 million girls and 73 million boys around the world have experienced sexual intercourse and sexual violence. (Hahn 2012 retrieved from http://www.unicef.org/infobycountry/jamaica_62479.html)

“Sexual abuse robs children of their childhood and creates a loss of trust, feelings of guilt and self abusive behavior. It can lead to anti-social behavior, depression, identity confusion, loss of self esteem, and other serious emotional problems.”(American Humane Association retrieved from http://www.americanhumane.org/children/stop-child-abuse/fact-sheets/child-sexual-abuse.html

Thankfully, I was not a victim of child sexual abuse, but I have been around people who have experienced this trauma. I have seen the pain it has caused them as they grew from a child to a adult and how difficult it was for them to maintain relationships of with the opposite sex. I can only imagine what they were going through as children having to hide such a horrific secret. As an early childhood professional, no one wants to think one of their students could ever be a victim of this kind of crime. It is important that we stay aware of some of the signs a child being abused may be exhibiting. The American Humane Association website (http://www.americanhumane.org/children/stop-child-abuse/fact-sheets/child-sexual-abuse.html) has a list of signs that a child may be experiencing sexual abuse on their website categorized by age group. I think the best thing a teacher could do in this situation is let the child know that they trust and believe them. 

The Sexualization of Early Childhood

My reaction to the article “So Sexy So Soon” (Levin, D. E., & Kilbourne, J. (2009), was not really shock since I have been working with children for the past 10 years and noticing myself their sexual evolution. When I was 12 years old in 1994, I was still happily playing with Barbie dolls and my mother was still picking out my clothes. Today, 12 year old girls are texting their boyfriends, watching 16 and Pregnant and their clothing is just small scale adult clothing.

As a parent, I am careful not to expose my daughter to material or media that I don’t feel she is ready to comprehend. The problem is I cannot control what kind of exposure she gets at school from her friends and peers. My daughter was in 3^rd grade this past school year when. One day I went to have lunch with her at school and was shocked by some of the things I heard the girls saying. Right in front of me they were talking about who everyone’s boyfriend was and if you didn’t have a boyfriend you weren’t pretty. My jaw almost dropped hearing 8 and 9 year old girls talk like this! I couldn’t help but open my mouth and tell the girls that having a boyfriend doesn’t make you pretty, that beauty comes from within and is reflected in how you treat others. These girls just about laughed in my face. After returning that afternoon to pick my daughter up from school, I talked to her all the way home about how wrong those girls were. I assured her that they had been misinformed and that all the things I always told her about feeling good about your self were correct. She didn’t seem to take the girls seriously, but who’s to say that mom won’t eventually lose to the views of her peers.  In reality I was scared to death for my daughter and these young girls who are already being taught that acceptance from men determine your value as a woman.

Another extremely scary example that I noticed in my own classroom, was of two 6 year old girls playing out scenes from the reality show 16 and Pregnant in the home living area. For those who don’t know, this documentary series that airs on MTV follows teenage girls as they prepare to give birth to their first child while still in high school. The series was meant to show the hardships the girls will endure, but instead has turned the girls who appear on the show in reality TV stars, in turn glorifying teen pregnancy. When the girls in my classroom were imitating these girls in their play, they began talking about what they are going to do when they are 16 and have their babies!

Shopping for clothing for my 9 year old daughter has become another challenge. When we go to her favorite kids clothing store for girls (I won’t name the store) I have a difficult time finding her age appropriate clothing. When we went shopping for summer clothes, I was shocked to see the array of crop tops, teeny tiny bikinis and bootie shorts in sizes small enough for 5 and 6 year old girls. Of course I forbid these selections for my daughter, but the fact that this type of clothing is being geared toward young children is appalling to me.

“Children growing up today are bombarded from a very early age with graphic messages about sex and sexiness in the media and popular culture.” Levin, D. E., & Kilbourne, J. (2009) I feel that if we do not try and combat what children are seeing in the media about sex, that we are going to have a generation of teen parents and young adults who do not understand the realities of sex and relationships. It is my job as a parent and an educator to minimize my child and my student’s exposure to this negative material.

References

Levin, D. E., & Kilbourne, J. (2009). [Introduction]. So sexy so soon: The new sexualized childhood and what parents can do to protect their kids (pp. 1-8). New York: Ballantine Books. Retrieved from:http://dianeelevin.com/sosexysosoon/introduction.pdf

Evaluating Impacts on Professional Practice

“Classism”

“No one is unaffected by economic class issues, including those in the early childhood profession. Class status deeply affects staff and programs.” (Sparks and Edwards 2010 p.110)

Several years ago, before I completed by Bachelors degree, I was working as a teacher’s assistant in a two year old classroom. I was only 21 at the time and had taken a break from school to figure out what I really wanted to do with my life. I was extremely happy working with young children and was trying to decide whether to go back to school for elementary education or early childhood.

I had just returned to work after a 5 day vacation to Cancun, Mexico and I was very tan. One of my students Mom entered the classroom to pick him up. She looked at me and said “Where did you go? You are so tan?” I smiled and said “I just got back from Cancun.” She looked at me with a puzzled look on her face and said “How did you afford a trip like that working at a place like this?” She said it very matter of fact and didn’t wait for my response, just picking up her son and leaving the room. I can remember feeling very small. I knew that I was working for an upper class pre-school that catered to higher income families, but didn’t think that meant I would have to be belittled by the parents. Higher income families reflect social attitudes about income and professionalism and may not treat staff with respect or recognize that they are educated and have a high level of skill. (Sparks and Edwards 2010)

If I had of let my feelings toward one parent change my feelings about all of the parents that I worked with, I would have been doing them and my students an injustice. I am not happy to say that I have seen teachers have a bad experience with a child’s parent and then alter their relationship with the child. They want to avoid further contact with the child’s parents, so they try to keep their distance from the child. In these situations, the child looses out. Children’s interactions with their teachers are the heart of anti-bias curriculum. (Sparks and Edwards 2010) Teachers should look past parent’s actions and focus on their students. Remember that children are innocent and not a part of their parent’s actions. They depend on us to grow and learn.

References

Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, D.C.: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

Observing Communication

Provide an account of your observation.

Working in a pre-school setting, I observe adult child interactions on a daily basis, multiple times a day. For this observation I will describe an interaction between a child in my school aged summer camp program and the child’s parent.

Describe what you noticed and learned.

A little girl in my class was getting dropped off by her mother early one morning. The little girl is six years old. The girl had noticed that some of the other children were wearing flip-flops and she was wearing sneakers. She told her mom that she wanted her flip-flops; the mother replied that her flip flops were at home. After a few minutes of going back and forth in conversation the mother says “O.K. I will go home and get them”. The mother returned in about ten minutes with the child’s flip-flops.

Make connections between what you observed and the effective communication strategies presented in this week’s learning resources. What could have been done to make the communication more affirming and effective?

There are four specific functions of teacher language: providing direction or instruction, correcting or redirecting behaviors, developing concepts or skills and discussing classroom or family life. (Sharp 2005) This should apply to parents as well, when they are speaking to young children.

In this situation I think that Mother should have been more explanatory to the child instead of just going back and forth arguing with the child. I think she should have explained that the child chose to wear those shoes today and that going home to get another pair of shoes would not be an option. In the conversation that I heard the mother was just trying to make the child happy by saying “your shoes are pretty, you don’t need to wear lip flops.”

Share your thoughts with regard to how the communication interactions you observed may have affected the child's feelings and/or any influences it may have had on the child's sense of self worth.

The child was very happy when her mother brought back what she asked for, but I feel like this may have given the child a false sense of reality. Giving in to a child’s every demand may give the child the impression that you can always have your way. When this happens children will never learn how to cope with disappointments.

Offer insights on how the adult-child communication you observed this week compares to the ways in which you communicate with the children. What have you learned about yourself this week with respect to how well you talk with and listen to young children? In what ways could you improve?

I try to be as straight forward and simple as I can be when speaking to young children. Through my years of experience I have learned that children are very literal and when speaking to them you have to be very clear and never assume that they understand what you are saying.

When communicating with young children I will keep this quote in mind:

“Teacher talk is encouraging and lets children know that their teacher values their efforts and accomplishments”. (Dangei and Durden 2010)

References

Rainer Dangei, J., & Durden, T. R. (2010). The nature of teacher talk during small group activities. YC: Young Children, 65(1), 74-81. Retrieved from the Walden Library using the Education Research Complete database. http://ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=ehh&AN=47964033&site=ehost-live&scope=site

Creating Affirming Enviornments

The mission statement would be nicely matted, framed and placed near the front door for parents to see as soon as they enter my home. After reading Chapter four in Anti-Bias Education for Young Children and Ourselves, I learned that all of the materials that it takes run an early childhood program influence what children learn. (Dreman-Spraks and Olsen Edwards 2010) Keeping this in mind I would take great care in choosing the proper materials for my program. Here is a list of some the necessary items to run my program:

·         Dolls of different ethnicities and abilities

·         Play food and dress up that reflect diverse nationalities and those of the children in the program

·         Books and puzzles depicting men and women in diverse gender roles, people from different ethnicities, religions, family structures and abilities.

·         Pictures of the children in the program and their families displayed were children can see them

·         Toys and manipulative that vary in age and development in order to serve the needs of all of the children in the program

·         Foods that children eat in their own homes will be served

·         Furniture will be handicap accessible

·         Weekly lesson plans, menus and other notifications will be posted in an easy to locate area for parents as well as emailed to them directly

My main goal in running an at home program would be to make the parents feel welcome and build strong relationships with them. One of the best ways to serve children is to connect with their families. (Dreman-Spraks and Olsen Edwards 2010)  Families feel that they are partners with teachers when they are included in aspects of the program. When this happens children see that their home and their program are equally welcoming and safe places. (Dreman-Spraks and Olsen Edwards 2010)

My vision for an at home care center would be a place where children could grow and build a positive sense of self and parents could feel like equal partners in the process.

References

Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, D.C.: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

What I Have Learned

One hope that I have when it comes to working with your children and their families is that I will always approach them with an open mind and an open heart. I hope that this will help me to establish meaningful relationships with the children and families that I serve in order to work in their best interest.

My goal for the Early Childhood field is that it continues to value the importance of diversity and the ability to teach an anti-biased curriculum.

I would like to thank all of my classmates and colleagues for supporting in me in my journey to increase my skills and knowledge in the field of education.

Thank You!!!

Diversity Poem

Diversity (A Poem) 

 Individual 

Culture 

Sense of self 

Language 

Hair

 Skin color  

Holidays 

Rituals 

Traditions 

Family 

 Friends 

Love 

For my “Start Seeing Diversity: Creating Art assignment. I wrote a very simple poem. I took the word diversity and listed every word that came to my mind when I thought of the word “Diversity”.

"We Don't Say Those Words in Class!"

A time when you witnessed an adult (or you) reprimand or silence a child after he or she pointed out someone they saw as different Before I was a Kindergarten teacher I used to three year olds. One morning I only had one child in the classroom with me, a little girl named Leah. As I was setting up the room for the day, a little boy named Alex was getting dropped off by his mom. Alex’s mom was extremely over weight. She had recently had a heart attack and was trying to get her weight under control for the sake of her health. I was saying good morning to Alex and his mom when Leah approached us. She looked at Alex’s mom and said “Why are you so big?” Immediately Alex’s mom’s face turned blood red. I looked at Leah and in a harsh voice said “That is not very nice, go have a seat in the Library center”. Leah walked over to the library center and sat on a cushion. I apologized to Alex’s mom, but she just quickly said “That’s ok, I hear it all the time”, she was clearly bothered by the comment. I may have acted a little harshly with Leah because I felt so embarrassed for Alex’s mom. I did not take the time to realize that Leah was just asking an honest question and that she was entirely too young to understand that it is rude to comment on other people’s weight. After Alex’s mom left, I apologized to Leah for speaking to her harshly and explained to her that people come in all shapes and sizes. She seemed to understand and did not seem phased by the situation at all. Children are very honest and often speak very bluntly due to lack of knowledge when it comes to social rights and wrongs. One of the hardest things is trying to teach a child that you cannot always say exactly what you are thinking.

Homophobia in Early Childhood Education

While doing research to complete my blog entry this week, I found a wonderful handbook online called “BUILDING BRIDGES: Queer Families in Early Childhood Education” here is the link http://www.oise.utoronto.ca/atkinson/UserFiles/File/Resources_Topics/Resources_Topics_Diversity/BuildingBridges.pdf I found this information to be laid out in a very organized and easy to understand format, as well as extremely informative. The book includes a timeline of legal precedence in LGBT cases as well vocabulary definitions. I would suggest any educator, especially those working with young children and families to go through this hand book. Some of the ways you noticed that homophobia and heterosexism permeate the world of young children including books, movies, toys, stores, culture of early childhood centers, and schools. Heterosexism is very prominent in Early Childhood Education, but easily goes unnoticed. The most prominent example is in the make-up of the staff. The majority of the staff in an Early Childhood facility is primarily made up of women. (Janmohamed and Campbell 2009) This automatically stereotypes women as caregivers. When programs do hire men they are usually not working with the children who are in diapers or still potty training. The reluctance to allow men to attend to toileting needs limits the amount of men who can work in a program. (2009) Many teachers who are biased themselves encourage gender stereotypes. They do this indiscreetly by not permitting boys to wear dress up clothes or play with dolls and giving boys preference over playing in the block area over girls. It is also done by excluding books and other teaching materials that depict LGBT families. This indirectly gives the message that these types of families are not normal and that the subject is taboo. Personally, I can relate this feeling to not seeing any toys, literature, movies, T.V. shows, etc. depicting bi-racial families. This made me feel as though my family was not being acknowledged and in a way, rejected. Your response to those who believe that early childhood centers should avoid the inclusion of books depicting gay or lesbian individuals such as same-sex partnered families. My response to those who wish to keep materials that include LGBT families out of Early Childhood programs is that the world is changing and we need to change to. We do not even teach the same content that was 30 years ago, why keep the same bigoted mentality from 30 years ago? As educators our job is not to agree with the families and children that we work with, but to support them and encourage them. I think that many teachers feel that by offering materials that depict LGBT families that they are promoting a life style that they may not believe in. What teachers need to realize, is that by putting their own feelings aside and showing LGBT families in a positive light, they are building that child’s self esteem and self worth. References Zeenat Janmohamed and Ryan Campbell, Building Bridges: Queer Families in Early Childhood Education. 2009 Atkinson Centre for Society and Child Development, Toronto, Ontario Canada. Retrieved from: http://www.oise.utoronto.ca/atkinson/UserFiles/File/Resources_Topics/Resources_Topics_Diversity/BuildingBridges.pdf

Final Thoughts on Culture and Diversity

One hope that you have when you think about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds One hope that I have in regards to working with children and families from diverse backgrounds is that I am able to accommodate their needs to the best of my ability. I want every child in my class to feel valued and important. I also want their families to know that I respect them and want the best for their child, no matter what our differences may be. One goal you would like to set for the early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice My personal goal regarding the Early Childhood field is to be a role model amongst my peers on issues of diversity and culture. I would like to adapt a classroom model that accepts and accommodates families of varying cultures and family structures. I will make sure to lead by example in hopes that others will follow my lead and also make culture and diversity a key component to their classroom curriculum, classrooms and everyday lives. A brief note of thanks to your colleagues I would like to thank my colleagues for all of the great comments and inspirational blog posts. I hope that all of my colleagues have learned as much from this course as I have. Good luck in your future courses and careers as teachers!

Welcoming A Student From Another Country

You are working in an early childhood setting of your choice—a hospital, a child care center, a social service agency. You receive word that the child of a family who has recently emigrated from a country you know nothing about will join your group soon. You want to prepare yourself to welcome the child and her family. Luckily, you are enrolled in a course about diversity and have learned that in order to support families who have immigrated you need to know more than surface facts about their country of origin. The name of “your” family’s country of origin: Australia At least five ways in which you will prepare yourself to be culturally responsive towards this family: • Call parents before the first day and ask if there are any possible accommodations that you could make to help the child transition or if there are any resources that they may need • Learn how to say a few words and phrases “Hello” “Are you hungry?” “Are you tired?” “It’s o.k.” • Post pictures of things that are Authentic to Australia: sports, holiday customs, animals, environment • Learn songs and nursery rhymes that are native to Australia • Research common snack foods in Australia that are accessible in the U.S. and try to prepare a traditional snack for the child’s first day. Calling the parents before doing anything may help guide the preparation phase. It gives the teacher an opportunity to get acquainted with the parents before the first day and find out more information about their child. Knowing a few phrases will help the child communicate and also feel more comfortable. Providing familiar foods and items may help the child feel more at home. Hopefully the parents will see the effort to the teacher is making and feel comforted by the genuine concern about the child’s transition.

The Personal Side of Prejudice

What memory do you have of an incident when you experienced bias, prejudice, and/or oppression, or witnessed someone else as the target of bias, prejudice, and/or oppression?

One situation where I feel that I was the subject of prejudice happened to me more than ten years ago. I had just graduated high school and was working full time as a teacher’s assistant at a pre-school while I took college classes at night. One of my Aunt’s had worked at the pre-school as a teacher for many years and recommended me as a good hire, so the director hired me. I considered myself a hard worker; I did whatever I was asked to do and more. I was scheduled to work 9:30 to 6:30, but the director would call me to come in early quite often to cover for staff who called in at the last minute. I often worked 11 to 12 hour days with no complaints.

I have mentioned my ethnicity in previous blog post, but just to recap, I am half black and half white. My hair is black, long and wavy and my skin is extremely light. At the time I was only 19 and was very trim (5’4, 110 lbs). My director was African American with medium brown skin, she was slightly heavy set, her hair was short and she wore it in a natural, twist style. She always seemed to be polite to me, until one day we were having a staff development meeting. During the meeting we were discussing how to help support the children in areas of self esteem. She began talking about issues that she had with her own self esteem as a child. She mentioned that she was taunted about her weight and told she was too dark; she looked at me and said “Girls that looked like April made my life miserable”. She smiled when she said it, maybe she thought she was complementing me or insinuating that I was pretty, but it didn’t feel like a complement and I felt put on the spot about something that had nothing to do with me. About a month later it was time for our annual raises and bonus checks for those who were going above and beyond their work responsibilities. The raises ranged from 10 cents to 75 cents based on merit. I had been working for the company for a year and a half and had not received a raise yet, so I was expecting a good raise and a bonus check. I was close friends with two other employees. They both had been working at the pre-school for about 6 months and one of them worked only part time. They were both African American. When we opened our checks, I was surprised that they each had received a 75 cent raise and the bonus check of $200 and I received a raise of 10 cent and no bonus. At that moment I realized that the director had a personal biased against me.

In what way(s) did the specific bias, prejudice and/or oppression in that incident diminish equity?

I feel that I was experiencing a racial biased. The directors feelings about me were solely based on my outside appearance and previous experiences she had with people who had a similar appearance. Her feelings had nothing to do with my personality or work ethic. This incident diminished equity because the director let or feelings impede on how I was treated in the work place.

What feelings did this incident bring up for you?

I don’t know if my young age and little real life experience had an increased impact on my feelings, but I was extremely hurt. I can remember going home on my lunch break and bursting in to tears when I told my mom what had happened. I considered myself a hard working and to not have it recognized because of someone else’s personal problem was very hurtful.

What and/or who would have to change in order to turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity?

In this situation, the director would have to change. I think that she needs to seek counseling about incidents that greatly impacted her life, because those experiences have caused her to have an extreme biased about a certain group of people. Even though this individual hurt my feelings greatly, I feel bad that she also experienced hurt and pain based on her physical appearance.

Microaggressions

I really enjoyed this week’s lessons about micro-aggression. I have experienced and witnessed this type of behavior many times in my adult life, but did not know the proper term for it.

In the video “Micro-Aggressions in Everyday Life”, Dr. Derald Wing Sue talked about how he felt when people assumed he was not born in America, because he did not look like your stereotypical American. This also happens to me quite often. I am bi-racial, half black and half white and even though my Dad has a beautiful chocolate brown completion, I am extremely pale white, even paler than many of my “white American” co-workers, (this could be from my mother’s Irish heritage) but my hair is jet black. So, given this information you could say that I do not look like a stereotypical half black and half white individual; because of this I am constantly being asked “What country are you from?” When I reply “I’m from here, I’m American” they say “No, where are your parents from?” then I have to explain that I am biracial. It was not until I watched this video that I even thought about why people would question whether I am American or not, even though they always do. It opened my eyes to what people think a “real American” should look like. It made me realize that when people see me, they don’t see a “real American”, though I am truly American, born and raised. I began to feel a little insulted, even though it never bothered me before. Now, that I have a new insight and I little more knowledge, I realized that the people asking me this question may harbor biased that they don’t even know that they have. I believe this question of my nationality falls under a non-deliberate, microassualt. Though the comment was not meant to be negative, it is. The comment “Where are you from?” makes the assumption that all Americans should look a certain way and I do not fall into that category, so I could not possibly be American. It is an unintended insult.

After carefully looking back at my own experiences and watching those around me this week, I came to the conclusion that racial stereotypes are still very much alive in this country. I can be quite naive about this type of thing do to my upbringing. I may or may not have mentioned in an earlier post that my family is extremely bi-racial on both my mother’s and father’s sides. I have black, white and Asian family members on both sides of my family. Growing up and seeing our commonalities, despite our difference in appearance, made me very insensitive to stereotypes. I have intimate relationships with people of other races, they are my family members, therefore I know that these stereotypes are not always true, we even joke about them in our family.

I have absorbed this week’s lessons about microaggresion and will be much more aware of them in my everyday life.

Perspectives on Culture and Diversity

Perspectives on Culture and Diversity

Responses	Definition of Diversity	Definition of Culture
Response #1	Diversity is what makes one person different from another.	Culture is who you are. It is your race, your religion and what you believe is important.
Response #2	Diversity deals with how people view themselves and others. Someone may have a diverse or different perspective than I do.	Your culture involves your traditions and beliefs. Culture is in what we eat, what we wear and what we believe in.

These are the responses I got after asking two different people their definitions of diversity and culture. It seems to me that their definitions were similar. They both thought that diversity had to deal with being different and that culture comes from family background and traditions.

Which aspects of culture and diversity that I have studied in this course are included in the answers I received—and what are some examples?

Some aspects that I have studied in this course and see in the responses are that culture involves aspects of family, traditions, foods, religion and how we perceive things around us.

Which aspects have been omitted—and what are some examples of such omission?

No one referred to how our cultures affect how we operate in society or how our cultures cause us to take on roles in society.

I still believe that culture is rooted in family. Your family teaches what you will value and how you will perceive the world outside of the family unit. I still believe that diversity is the uniqueness in people and what makes them different from each other.

My Supports

My support system is my family. I cannot imagine what my life would be like without them. My parents have supported me over my entire life span, in whatever way I may have needed at that time. When I gave birth to my daughter they were there. My Mother spent the night in the hospital with me for three nights without even going home to take a bath, just because I wanted her there. She stayed with me for two weeks after my daughter was born to help with anything I needed. My parents encouraged me while I worked full time, took care of my daughter and went back to school to earn my Bachelor’s degree. Two years ago I had a disc replacement and fusion. My mother stayed with me until they wheeled me into the operating room and they were waiting in my room when I finally came out of recovery. The next morning my Dad was walking into my hospital room at 6:00 am to make sure I was ok. I could go on and on about all the times my parents have been there for me.

On a daily basis my family supports me by being there if I need them. My mom gives me cooking advice, my Dad gives me car advice, my sister and I share parenting problems and solutions and my brother is just there to always tell me how much he loves me.

A challenge that I can imagine myself having is having limited mobility. This is a situation that I was in for a short period of time. Being a very independent person, needing help on a daily basis was very hard for me. I can only imagine what it would be like if my mobility was impaired permanently. Two years ago I began having severe muscles spasms in my neck. One day it got so bad that I could not move my neck at all or use my right arm or hand. I couldn't  sit still from the pain. It was shooting from my neck to my hand. After going to the emergency room and having a cat scan a couple weeks later it was determined that I had two herniated discs that need to be removed. The pressure on the surrounding nerves was beginning to cause damage to the nerves in my hand and arm. I had to wait 4 weeks before I could have surgery. During this time, I could barley use my right arm. I needed help with doing household chores, cooking and I even needed to reduce my responsibilities at work. After the operation I needed the same kind if help that I required before surgery while I waited for my body to heal. Before and during my recovery my parents aided me in every way they could. My mom came to my house to clean and cook meals. My Dad brought by groceries and was there to offer his support.

Even though I am now weeks away from begin 32 years old, I still need my parents. I think as a parent you spend 18 years raising your child and the rest of your life being there to support them. 

My Connections to Play

These two quotes below sum up my childhood and how I feel about play in childhood. These quotes also appeal to me because they were both said by two people who I watched on TV as a child.  The first quote was said by Bill Cosby; The Cosby Show was one of the first shows that portrayed an African American family as educated, upper middle class and functioning happily. I have fond memories of my family and I sitting and watching it together.

The second quote was by Fred Rogers, someone who I watched on TV every day as a child. Mr. Rogers Neighborhood was a pioneer of children’s educational television. Back when there was no cable television, educational programming was scarce. Shows like Mr. Roger’s Neighbor hood and Sesame Street were staples in my childhood.

“The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.”
Bill Cosby 
“Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.”
Fred Rogers 

If I could imagine myself as a child, in a place by myself  with no cares or worries and the ability to play all day I would be on the beach. The only things I would need would be a bucket and shovel. I would dig in the sand all day and play in the ocean. I would dig holes and fill them with buckets of ocean water. I would not need any adult assistance in this situation. Just me and the outdoors.

When I was younger the person who most supported my efforts in play was my mother. She gave me the ability to play freely; to be loud, to make a mess and to explore. As long as I wasn’t doing anything dangerous, she allowed me to be free. Now as an adult I realize that was the best thing she could have done for me. I learned and expressed myself trough my play and she fostered that by giving me the freedom to do it.

As I parent my own daughter,  I try to remember how my mother allowed me to play and do the same for my daughter. Now a days people believe that teacher based instruction is the primary way that children learn. There are formal instructional kits teaching infants how to read and teaching preschoolers how to teach foreign languages. I think parents are afraid to just let there children play freely for fear that they won’t be as smart or able to keep up with the next child.

I hope that as I continue to raise my own daughter, I reflect upon my own childhood and allow my child to play the way I did.

Relationship Reflections

Good relationships are what we strive for in life right? A good relationship with our parents, a good relationship with our children and a good relationship with our spouse. These are the three most important relationships in my life and in most peoples lives. I think the reason why these are the most important relationships in our lives is because typically these people are the closest to us, these are the people who help define who we are. If we do not have a good relationship with them, what does it say about us? 

Family relationships are extremely important to me. These are the people who support me and love me unconditionally. What ever mistake I make they will be there. It is comforting to know that there are people that will always be "in your court". It makes navigating the scary and uncertain aspects of life a little less scary. 

It is important for me to have a strong relationship with my daughter for all of the above reasons and more. I want her know that no matter what, I will be in her corner. I think that children who have supportive parents are more successful than those who do not. Children who grow up with good relationships with their parents know that there is someone out there with there best interest at heart, someone who will help encourage them to achieve there dreams. 

I have recently met the ten year mark at my job and this has made me realize that I also value relationships with my boss and co workers. Over the years we have seen each other give birth to children, marry, divorce and mourn the deaths of our family members. In a way this makes us family. On a daily basis we spend many hours together. We work together to ensure that the children in our care receive the best care possible. This takes collaboration and team work. Having a good relationship with my boss and coworkers has helped me to make it to ten years on my job. 

Think about what relationships are important to you.